He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
