That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize