his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
