I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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