God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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