Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize