they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
