I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
how does that bad decision feel?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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