He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
