Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
