i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
