Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize