Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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