the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
