I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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