why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
