hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
