erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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