Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I love having hate sex.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
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I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
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She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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