i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
