oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
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You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
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I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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