just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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