I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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