I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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