Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
