Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
