im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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