on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
