WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
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i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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