yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
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Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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