Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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