I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
you never un-have a 4some
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
