yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
