I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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