Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
