wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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