i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
