But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
