I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
