If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
