In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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