Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize