What a fucking waste of an outfit
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
