can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
