It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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