fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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