Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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