why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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