so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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