My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
