capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
