Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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