I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
