Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
