I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
