he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
