there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Rumble strips road head = magical
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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