I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
