She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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