We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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