I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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