did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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