I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
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he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
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I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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