ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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