Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
