So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
